Win Win

“خسرو بازی پریم کی
جو میں کھیلی پی کے سنگ
جیت گئی تو پیا مورے
جو میں ہاری پی کے سنگ
Khusrau, the game of love
If I play with my dear one
If I win, my sweetheart is mine
If I lose, I’m still with my dear one”

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I choose to hold your touch

You are the author of poetry on the pages of my heart. When you are no longer there, I keep looking at the blank pages, hoping and waiting for you to come. It is your hand, when it writes my heart beats in joy, anticipating the meanings full of love, creating the magic , that fills me and touches me deeply, letting me see the glimpse of heaven. It is in your touch I can read the story of Laila being written on my skin by your finger tips, which leaves permanent impression on my soul.

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Love = You

You fill me up, coloring me in million shades of joy, life without you is now unimaginable

You are my hope, my desire, my love, my inspiration, my passion, my dream, my life line

You are my fire, my need, my destination, You are my other half

Letting Go Of A Parent

Many times when feelings needed voice they looked at words for help but found words starring at them mute. I will try, but I know I cant do justice to feelings, especially feelings of helplessness we feel when our loved one is very ill. We want to do so much and yet can do nothing, but to watch them waste away. No one can fight the nature and destiny .

I remember my mother bed bound for weeks at the end [terminal cancer], every time I looked at her, I heard her voice from past telling me ” I don’t want to get dependent on any one ” and here she was totally dependent, cant even eat by herself. I felt as if its me on the bed dying slowly. Each day when the Sun rose, I wondered if my mother opened her eyes or not. She was holding on to her last breaths, holding on to her last heart beat.

I don’t know if my eyes cried or it was my heart, but tears continue to fall deep inside me, acting strong from outside for every one else, but felt like breaking down sitting alone, somehow I kept myself intact, traveling every weekend 4 hours on Saturday, staying with her over night and then traveling back home 4 hours every Sunday for several weeks. Every time I came back I didn’t know if I will get another weekend with her not .

When I was young, up till I moved out of the house to go to college, I always felt if something happened to my mother I will surely die with her, as I couldn’t imagine life without her, and here she was dying. …I had to keep on living though, as now I have children of my own.

No one can ever love me, the way she loved me, so pure so unconditional. Part of me has died, and is now buried in a grave with her. Damage to my heart is irreparable.

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Check Posts In Your Subconscious

Beyond the field of Love and Hate, there is a place, I have been meeting you there in your dreams. As unaware as you are, as lost as you are in the jungle of hate, surrounded by the thorny bushes of jealousy and revenge , that you have been blind to the presence of check posts, pointing to me and my hand reaching over to you from beyond the surface of your mind.

I exist in your subconscious, where ever you will go what ever you will do, I will be there with you, not as an enemy not as a lover, but as a surrogate, meaning well for you, gently turning you towards the mirror so you can see your reflection, the real you,  such amazingly beautiful you, a little you, looking up for a miracle you, waiting for the beloved you, needing to hold on so you can feel secure you, wanting a solid ground to stand on you, crying for the warm embrace and acceptance you.

Without revealing myself, I exist as the gravitational force among you, that prevent you from falling, that keeps you together with that significant yours. I am the other side of balance, that keeps you from tripping, your passion at one side and I on the other, see for your self, if you don’t believe me, cut me off and see how quickly your passion disappears. I am the glue between your object of desire and your desire, I am the energy that keeps the feelings flowing.

And yet I am no where near you. I am no one to you, I have no relation with you. I am meaningless to you, I am just another person in the crowed multiplied by zero.

Paradox , yes I am the paradox , I am needed by your subconscious just as much as I am Not needed by your conscious .

Believe me, now that I have seen the paradox, and understood it, I wonder, what would it be like, if the gravitational force is eliminated. But ironically that is not in my control. I am placed here by the higher force, The Source .

Understand who I am, who you are, How and why I am connected to you, See the real you underneath the conditioning of so many years of believing, what others have taught you and labelled you as, step outside your belief If you want to really meet yourself. this is your next check post. This is your next assignment.

Congratulations on graduating to next level you have already achieved the unachievable, in a very short time.

sign : Humble and Invisible me looking forward to seeing you with beautiful pair of white wings and free will.

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Locked heaven

Since ages, Since the beginnings of time when time had no meaning, She existed. And she had been doing one thing only  ,…  waiting ….. She sat inside that dark room, looking at the door, waiting to hear the foot steps. There was only one way to get out of that room, as only he had the key.

Every time she heard him coming, with every foot step, she felt the wave of life pass thru her, and as the foot steps came near, her heart began to beat one more time and always sang a welcome song for the beloved. It was his focused attention towards her that opened the door,  no key has ever been able to open that door, as key alone never worked.

When the door use to open, that dark room suddenly turned to valley full of wild flowers, over seeing the mountain range covered with tall ever green trees, kissing the blue sky which was mostly clear but every now and then there was cottony clouds making different smily faces.

In his presence she experienced the life, together they were able to decode many secrets, as if opening more locked doors, which were hidden in their hearts, she felt happy, Joyce, peaceful.

What is the use of a Key if it has no lock to open? He needed her just as much as she needed him. They completed that part of each other which was hidden from others. Painting each others heaven, showering rain over the yellow wild flowers with their love. Nourishing each others soul, growing and evolving together for their next birth together.

She is the water to his thirst, and food to his soul, He is the key to her heart, and her heaven inside, He is the colors to her emotions, wings to her intelligence and a reason behind her existence

I don’t know, If the key was needed for lock to exist, or lock was needed for key to exist, I don’t know if either was missing , the other would still be existing. I don’t know for how long she has been waiting for him to come, for how long he has been looking for her, i don’t know if there is a way to even know. All I know is …

He is the Key to the locked heaven.

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Sound Of Silence

Silence in me
Alive
And breathing

My very own
Nearest
And dearest
Closer to me
Than me, to myself

Like a mirror
Reflecting
My reflection
Written
In fine print
Meaning
Of my existence
© Asma Kareem

 

Window To Your Heart

It the lap of tall green mountains of heaven, existed a pond filled with sparkling blue water, decorated by pink louts , which floated on the surface as if in meditation praising the Lord.

From the nectar of Lotus , Love was born. Seeing the birth of Love, doves came down and carried the love on their wings to earth. On arrival to earth Love needed a home to live in, it started looking, and found a mother carrying its baby, that was Love’s first home and the permanent one, no matter what, it never leaves that home. After that it start making homes in other hearts as well.

In my heart too Love has created a home, a window from that home opens in your heart, where the mountains of heaven still stand tall and the sparkling waters of that pond still carry the Lotus in its arms.

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Rose

In your silence I can hear you loud and clear, when all others think you are quite I can hear your loud thoughts colored by your feelings, framed in your mood.

If I could, I would have turned you in to a Rose placing you in a vase next to me. And then I would make sure it has enough water every day, I would talk to it, and tell it how so beautiful it is, and how it keeps me fragrant all night along, every morning I would have awaken to the site of its beautiful petals, I would have told it every morning how precious how important it is in my life, how much color it adds to my days. I would have touched its velvety petals admiring the softness and delicacy, I would have even kissed the thorns just because they are part of Rose’s stem, just because they are there to protect it.

Yes you are the Rose on my bed side table, and you are the fragrance to that rose in my heart.

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Peacock Feather

You are like a soothing rain showers in hot summer day, like  a hot cup of tea in cold winter night, like a dream that continue to sparkle in eyes for days. You are like a peacock feather in the midst of captivating book, a feather that attracts and capture my attention, and I forget to read the rest of the chapters, because the shimmering colors of feather tells me a very enchanting tale of their own, making me their own.

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