I felt secure and safe within me
Roaming room to room
I got lost
Entered so deep within
Cant find my way out
Now its just me within myself
There is no one else
Sitting next to oil lamp in my heart
I talk , I listen , I reply
aks
Use that anger inside
22 Feb 2021 1 Comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Childhood trauma, Difficulties, Emotional abuse, Emotional black mail, Energy suckers, Human doormat, Pain, Stuck in relationship, Taken for granted, Unable to leave the relationship Tags: Abuse, Anger, Darkness, Hope, Pain, Suffering
My hands are bleeding
The rope is cutting through my skin
I am tired and my grip is losening
I can’t let go, I won’t let go
My eyes are closing
I think I am passing out
Its dark all around
No light, no help
Yes keep climbing
I can feel the cold dampness on my skin
the stench of something rotten
perhaps someone who was holding on
has finally given up
But I am not ready
I won’t fall
I ll fight till my last breath
You can’t take it away from me
Suddenly the anger awakens
And hands start to move
One after another
Let me out of this Hell
AK~
So many problems
22 Jan 2020 1 Comment
in Difficulties, Life, Love, Loving You, Note From My Diary, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
Words we use to communicate, and sound they make, we all hear them, but they convey different feelings .
True feelings can’t be conveyed through words, they need time and action . I am here for you, I have been here for you, and I ll be here for you .
I like listening to you , I want to know what goes on in your mind and heart, I feel close to you when you tell me about your day, as if I have lived that day with you.
Life is strange, It keep throwing ball of fire at us, that burns our hands, one Problem after another, but we must catch the problem and carefully put out the fire, other wise it can burn our being, destroying us to ashes .
But
We will find a way, to that small serene corner, where we can sit under the shadow of Love, amidst all that chaos and fire.
AK
Survival
24 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Life, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
This morning I saw a tiny little cute bird, it is known as Chickadee, came over to eat the breakfast of small seeds, and perhaps it was taking some in its beak for the partner or to save for winter, but then …..
Another Pray bird came as chickadee was leaving, knocked down the small bird, grabbed it in its claws and flew away to have the breakfast.
Intentions
24 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Life, Memories, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
Chain of events
Like dominos
Knocking down
causing ripples
awakening emotions
building actions
Leading to
The path of destiny
. [ AK ]
Doorway
12 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Difficulties, Emotional abuse, Emotional black mail, Human doormat, Life, Sad, Stuck in relationship, Taken for granted, Unable to leave the relationship, Uncategorized
Keyboard is the doorway that let me out for fresh air. I, who like to stay within the walls of my heart along with my pain, I sometimes get suffocated when once in a while you come along and knock on my door, making me realize its been ages since I have stepped outside. But now my eyes can’t stand the light, it takes a while before I can see all my scares and some raw wounds which have already gone infected poisoning me gradually taking me towards my grave.
Its easier to stay within the walls of my heart, where I can’t see what is happening to me, pain has taught me to become numb. That is why, you think I can’t feel anymore, and I am distant. Maybe I can’t let the door open, Maybe I am afraid to let you see me, or Maybe I am afraid to see my own myself , Maybe I will lose the strength to go on, and courage will be snatched away from me , You see pain is a ferocious beast with long sharp teeth and big claws, as long as I stay hidden and numb, I can still survive.
Your Reflection 