19 Jan 2026 Leave a comment
in Life, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: Feelings, Life
Recently I came across a stone, which had a heart shaped mark on its center . I looked at it for a long time, I wanted that heart to start beating , I wanted the stone to start feeling emotions, I wanted to show the world its not just hard stone, it has a heart filled with feelings, it feels pain and at times shed tears even if they are internal, but it never ticked even once
But it did show me, my reflection on its shinny surface
29 Dec 2025 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Pain, Sad Tags: Darkness, Depression, foggy, gloomy, Life, Pain
I never invited you
Why you keep. Knocking on the door?
I feel the dread when I hear your foot steps
As if a demonic shadow inside me waking up
I don’t want to be possessed by a demon
I don’t want to lose myself
I feel like chocking as if I am drowning
Somebody save me , anyone
Pull me out of this darkness
Its so foggy I cant see anything
I am falling deeper and deeper
I might get lost in a place of no return
Someone help me
I don’t want to open the door
29 Dec 2025 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Pain, Sad Tags: Cloudy, Darkness, Depression, Fog, Life, Pain
I never invited you
Why you keep. Knocking on the door?
I feel the dread when I hear your foot steps
As if a demonic shadow inside me waking up
I don’t want to be possessed by a demon
I don’t want to lose myself
I feel like chocking as if I am drowning
Somebody save me , anyone
Pull me out of this darkness
Its so foggy I cant see anything
I am falling deeper and deeper
I might get lost in a place of no return
Someone help me
I don’t want to open the door
06 Feb 2025 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Ego, Emotional abuse, Human doormat, Memories, Pain, Sad Tags: Emotions, Hate, Pain
I know your hate for me has creeped up the walls of your heart
but if there is any wall that is available
let me know, so I cut that creepy vine
and plant something more appealing there
Aks
02 Feb 2025 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Emotional abuse, Energy suckers, Pain Tags: Emotions, Feelings, Heart, Life, Time
Usually time pass by paying no heed to anything or anyone, but that day, it stopped for a second, looked at me and started laughing pointing its finger towards me, saying, you are so stupid, don’t you know , never share your feelings with anyone, now that you have made the mistake , you will be punished .
I was sitting in my chair looking outside , trying to make sense of what was going on, suddenly, time started to wrap it self around my heart, squeezing it, I felt suffocated unable to breath, I don’t know how long it continued, I felt at mercy of time, finally time let go of my heart.
I know now, to be extra careful, no one is worthy of trust. People want what they want and once taken they move on. If you let them enter your heart, they will enter with dirty shows and then blame you of being dirty .
Ak
21 Apr 2024 Leave a comment
in Childhood trauma, death, Emotional abuse, Life, Memories, Pain Tags: forgeting, old age, Time, Trauma
Winding vine
Of morning glory
Trying to grasp as it climb
Holding on to my train of thoughts
getting lost
among the neurons
Only the shadow remains
Just few seeds
to start a new
AK
01 Nov 2021 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Life, Pain, Sufi/Mystic
I felt secure and safe within me
Roaming room to room
I got lost
Entered so deep within
Cant find my way out
Now its just me within myself
There is no one else
Sitting next to oil lamp in my heart
I talk , I listen , I reply
aks
01 Jul 2021 Leave a comment
in death, Life, Memories, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: change, death, Life, Lose, Sadness
My heart use to be a place full of sunny days, where countless fragrant colored flowers bloomed all year long , butterflies’s heaven it was. Some days were cloudy as well, but clear as crystal , I could see for miles, those lush green mountains surrounding the valley that carried the sparkling blue water in its lap. A place where I could go and stay for as long as I wanted, full of clean fresh air, filled with oxygen .
My heart is now all foggy, it has the strange smell of mystery now, I can’t see too far, at night it gets even more dark. I am sure, someone else lives there now, I can hear the sobing, but since I can’t see , I don’t know who is that. At times it pulls me in, but I try not to stay for too long. Since you have departed and left me here on earth, my heart has become a hunted place.
~ Ak
22 Feb 2021 1 Comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Childhood trauma, Difficulties, Emotional abuse, Emotional black mail, Energy suckers, Human doormat, Pain, Stuck in relationship, Taken for granted, Unable to leave the relationship Tags: Abuse, Anger, Darkness, Hope, Pain, Suffering
My hands are bleeding
The rope is cutting through my skin
I am tired and my grip is losening
I can’t let go, I won’t let go
My eyes are closing
I think I am passing out
Its dark all around
No light, no help
Yes keep climbing
I can feel the cold dampness on my skin
the stench of something rotten
perhaps someone who was holding on
has finally given up
But I am not ready
I won’t fall
I ll fight till my last breath
You can’t take it away from me
Suddenly the anger awakens
And hands start to move
One after another
Let me out of this Hell
AK~
11 Jul 2020 1 Comment
in growth, Life, Love, Loving You, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized
All That My Heart Wishes For
You Are The One, all that you are
In This World, Apart From You
I Have None, I have nothing
If You Are Not Happy,
Then Go In Search Of Happiness,
I have you in my heart
Nothing More Do I Desire.
Hurting, In Your Absence
I Will Fade away, To Live In You.
Long Be The Day, Long Be The Night
Long Be Months And Years That Go By.
If You Do Love Someone Else,
and never Return back to me
Then Whatever You desire
May you get that
and may all the suffering be with me
Wild Flowers 