I know your hate for me has creeped up the walls of your heart
but if there is any wall that is available
let me know, so I cut that creepy vine
and plant something more appealing there
Aks
Hate
06 Feb 2025 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Ego, Emotional abuse, Human doormat, Memories, Pain, Sad Tags: Emotions, Hate, Pain
Fog
01 Jul 2021 Leave a comment
in death, Life, Memories, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: change, death, Life, Lose, Sadness
My heart use to be a place full of sunny days, where countless fragrant colored flowers bloomed all year long , butterflies’s heaven it was. Some days were cloudy as well, but clear as crystal , I could see for miles, those lush green mountains surrounding the valley that carried the sparkling blue water in its lap. A place where I could go and stay for as long as I wanted, full of clean fresh air, filled with oxygen .
My heart is now all foggy, it has the strange smell of mystery now, I can’t see too far, at night it gets even more dark. I am sure, someone else lives there now, I can hear the sobing, but since I can’t see , I don’t know who is that. At times it pulls me in, but I try not to stay for too long. Since you have departed and left me here on earth, my heart has become a hunted place.
~ Ak
Love beats in the heart of Soul
11 Jul 2020 1 Comment
in growth, Life, Love, Loving You, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized
All That My Heart Wishes For
You Are The One, all that you are
In This World, Apart From You
I Have None, I have nothing
If You Are Not Happy,
Then Go In Search Of Happiness,
I have you in my heart
Nothing More Do I Desire.
Hurting, In Your Absence
I Will Fade away, To Live In You.
Long Be The Day, Long Be The Night
Long Be Months And Years That Go By.
If You Do Love Someone Else,
and never Return back to me
Then Whatever You desire
May you get that
and may all the suffering be with me
Just another day
09 May 2020 Leave a comment
in Life, Notes From My Diary, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: alone, Day, Life
It was a very windy day today, a little too windy for my taste, even the trees were complaining, as the flowers were trying to hold on to their branches, but wind snatched them away. Bird tried to stay strong, kept flying towards its nest, hoping to still find it in one piece. Most of the day passed, as I listened to whistling out side my window, at times it sounded like screams, especially when wind tried to break in to my room.
Finally, near the evening sun came out for just few min to say good night, and then disappeared behind the mountains, leaving that pinkish orange cloud behind. Night took the cloud and wrapped it around its shoulders to stay warm .
Tomorrow will be a new day, and I am hoping to see more sun and feel some warmth .
[ AK ]
So many problems
22 Jan 2020 1 Comment
in Difficulties, Life, Love, Loving You, Note From My Diary, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
Words we use to communicate, and sound they make, we all hear them, but they convey different feelings .
True feelings can’t be conveyed through words, they need time and action . I am here for you, I have been here for you, and I ll be here for you .
I like listening to you , I want to know what goes on in your mind and heart, I feel close to you when you tell me about your day, as if I have lived that day with you.
Life is strange, It keep throwing ball of fire at us, that burns our hands, one Problem after another, but we must catch the problem and carefully put out the fire, other wise it can burn our being, destroying us to ashes .
But
We will find a way, to that small serene corner, where we can sit under the shadow of Love, amidst all that chaos and fire.
AK
Survival
24 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Life, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
This morning I saw a tiny little cute bird, it is known as Chickadee, came over to eat the breakfast of small seeds, and perhaps it was taking some in its beak for the partner or to save for winter, but then …..
Another Pray bird came as chickadee was leaving, knocked down the small bird, grabbed it in its claws and flew away to have the breakfast.
Doorway
12 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Difficulties, Emotional abuse, Emotional black mail, Human doormat, Life, Sad, Stuck in relationship, Taken for granted, Unable to leave the relationship, Uncategorized
Keyboard is the doorway that let me out for fresh air. I, who like to stay within the walls of my heart along with my pain, I sometimes get suffocated when once in a while you come along and knock on my door, making me realize its been ages since I have stepped outside. But now my eyes can’t stand the light, it takes a while before I can see all my scares and some raw wounds which have already gone infected poisoning me gradually taking me towards my grave.
Its easier to stay within the walls of my heart, where I can’t see what is happening to me, pain has taught me to become numb. That is why, you think I can’t feel anymore, and I am distant. Maybe I can’t let the door open, Maybe I am afraid to let you see me, or Maybe I am afraid to see my own myself , Maybe I will lose the strength to go on, and courage will be snatched away from me , You see pain is a ferocious beast with long sharp teeth and big claws, as long as I stay hidden and numb, I can still survive.
Engraved Relation
20 Nov 2017 Leave a comment
in Love, Loving You, Memories, Sad, Stuck in relationship, Uncategorized Tags: Existence, experiences, Feelings, friends, Learning, Life, Me, self
When we form deep emotional relationships / connections early on in our life, they get engraved on the surface of our brain through the neurons, and then, no matter how hard we try we cant erase them.
But there is a possibility of forming a new image in the vicinity which can be more appealing to the minds eye and so we can learn not to pay attention to old image .
How ever the image remains and when we come face to face with those early relations, that old image light up like a full moon at night, leaving us staring at it quietly as we relive the old memories …
I now know, no matter what, I can not erase that image on your brain. So I might as well accept it, and move on .
My image on your brain will gradually fade away as the dust of time covers it , while the old image regain its colors, every time you talk to that relation, you polish the image making it shine more …..
Lots of things in life are beyond our control, and this is one of those things.
Your Reflection 