19 Jan 2026 Leave a comment
in Life, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: Feelings, Life
Recently I came across a stone, which had a heart shaped mark on its center . I looked at it for a long time, I wanted that heart to start beating , I wanted the stone to start feeling emotions, I wanted to show the world its not just hard stone, it has a heart filled with feelings, it feels pain and at times shed tears even if they are internal, but it never ticked even once
But it did show me, my reflection on its shinny surface
29 Dec 2025 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Pain, Sad Tags: Darkness, Depression, foggy, gloomy, Life, Pain
I never invited you
Why you keep. Knocking on the door?
I feel the dread when I hear your foot steps
As if a demonic shadow inside me waking up
I don’t want to be possessed by a demon
I don’t want to lose myself
I feel like chocking as if I am drowning
Somebody save me , anyone
Pull me out of this darkness
Its so foggy I cant see anything
I am falling deeper and deeper
I might get lost in a place of no return
Someone help me
I don’t want to open the door
29 Dec 2025 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Pain, Sad Tags: Cloudy, Darkness, Depression, Fog, Life, Pain
I never invited you
Why you keep. Knocking on the door?
I feel the dread when I hear your foot steps
As if a demonic shadow inside me waking up
I don’t want to be possessed by a demon
I don’t want to lose myself
I feel like chocking as if I am drowning
Somebody save me , anyone
Pull me out of this darkness
Its so foggy I cant see anything
I am falling deeper and deeper
I might get lost in a place of no return
Someone help me
I don’t want to open the door
06 Feb 2025 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Ego, Emotional abuse, Human doormat, Memories, Pain, Sad Tags: Emotions, Hate, Pain
I know your hate for me has creeped up the walls of your heart
but if there is any wall that is available
let me know, so I cut that creepy vine
and plant something more appealing there
Aks
01 Jul 2021 Leave a comment
in death, Life, Memories, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: change, death, Life, Lose, Sadness
My heart use to be a place full of sunny days, where countless fragrant colored flowers bloomed all year long , butterflies’s heaven it was. Some days were cloudy as well, but clear as crystal , I could see for miles, those lush green mountains surrounding the valley that carried the sparkling blue water in its lap. A place where I could go and stay for as long as I wanted, full of clean fresh air, filled with oxygen .
My heart is now all foggy, it has the strange smell of mystery now, I can’t see too far, at night it gets even more dark. I am sure, someone else lives there now, I can hear the sobing, but since I can’t see , I don’t know who is that. At times it pulls me in, but I try not to stay for too long. Since you have departed and left me here on earth, my heart has become a hunted place.
~ Ak
11 Jul 2020 1 Comment
in growth, Life, Love, Loving You, Pain, Sad, Uncategorized
All That My Heart Wishes For
You Are The One, all that you are
In This World, Apart From You
I Have None, I have nothing
If You Are Not Happy,
Then Go In Search Of Happiness,
I have you in my heart
Nothing More Do I Desire.
Hurting, In Your Absence
I Will Fade away, To Live In You.
Long Be The Day, Long Be The Night
Long Be Months And Years That Go By.
If You Do Love Someone Else,
and never Return back to me
Then Whatever You desire
May you get that
and may all the suffering be with me
09 May 2020 Leave a comment
in Life, Notes From My Diary, Sad, Uncategorized Tags: alone, Day, Life
It was a very windy day today, a little too windy for my taste, even the trees were complaining, as the flowers were trying to hold on to their branches, but wind snatched them away. Bird tried to stay strong, kept flying towards its nest, hoping to still find it in one piece. Most of the day passed, as I listened to whistling out side my window, at times it sounded like screams, especially when wind tried to break in to my room.
Finally, near the evening sun came out for just few min to say good night, and then disappeared behind the mountains, leaving that pinkish orange cloud behind. Night took the cloud and wrapped it around its shoulders to stay warm .
Tomorrow will be a new day, and I am hoping to see more sun and feel some warmth .
[ AK ]
22 Jan 2020 1 Comment
in Difficulties, Life, Love, Loving You, Note From My Diary, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
Words we use to communicate, and sound they make, we all hear them, but they convey different feelings .
True feelings can’t be conveyed through words, they need time and action . I am here for you, I have been here for you, and I ll be here for you .
I like listening to you , I want to know what goes on in your mind and heart, I feel close to you when you tell me about your day, as if I have lived that day with you.
Life is strange, It keep throwing ball of fire at us, that burns our hands, one Problem after another, but we must catch the problem and carefully put out the fire, other wise it can burn our being, destroying us to ashes .
But
We will find a way, to that small serene corner, where we can sit under the shadow of Love, amidst all that chaos and fire.
AK
24 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Difficulties, Life, Sad, Uncategorized, Your Thoughts
This morning I saw a tiny little cute bird, it is known as Chickadee, came over to eat the breakfast of small seeds, and perhaps it was taking some in its beak for the partner or to save for winter, but then …..
Another Pray bird came as chickadee was leaving, knocked down the small bird, grabbed it in its claws and flew away to have the breakfast.
12 Nov 2018 Leave a comment
in Abuse, Abusive relation, Difficulties, Emotional abuse, Emotional black mail, Human doormat, Life, Sad, Stuck in relationship, Taken for granted, Unable to leave the relationship, Uncategorized
Keyboard is the doorway that let me out for fresh air. I, who like to stay within the walls of my heart along with my pain, I sometimes get suffocated when once in a while you come along and knock on my door, making me realize its been ages since I have stepped outside. But now my eyes can’t stand the light, it takes a while before I can see all my scares and some raw wounds which have already gone infected poisoning me gradually taking me towards my grave.
Its easier to stay within the walls of my heart, where I can’t see what is happening to me, pain has taught me to become numb. That is why, you think I can’t feel anymore, and I am distant. Maybe I can’t let the door open, Maybe I am afraid to let you see me, or Maybe I am afraid to see my own myself , Maybe I will lose the strength to go on, and courage will be snatched away from me , You see pain is a ferocious beast with long sharp teeth and big claws, as long as I stay hidden and numb, I can still survive.
Wild Flowers 