Tea Party

Preparing for the tea party, taking out the good china, that fragrant tea I ordered last week, pouring the hot water, taking the pastries out, finger sandwiches , decorating table, placing everything exactly where it belongs.

A guest will come, that unknown stranger, I know, my 6th sense tells me so

Waiting ………

Knock on the door , silence ….

Knock again …. but I am afraid to open the door

afraid to let someone come in , what if ? ? so many questions

afraid to open the door of my heart

afraid to have it broken

I can’t ….

but I want to

clock is ticking …. I peak outside

I see someone sitting on stairs, facing the other way

finally I open the door, that person turns around with a smile , get up, steps in

Close the door behind

Capturing my heartbeat

and

I let go handing over the key

Ak

Passing thoughts

Vision without eyes

Is it wind, or am I breathing

A lightening strikes the tree, why do you make me so angry ?

That song I wrote, listen bird is singing it

My heart suddenly filled with sadness, So many tears, its been raining since morning

Soon it will be time to sleep, I close my eyes and Sun sets

Darkness spread all around and I find myself in mothers womb floating

~ AK

My Love

My love?
what can I tell you about my Love
Beloved’s beautiful smile brings peace to hearts, Just one loving glance makes the cherry blossoms dance with ecstasy, Soft whispers gathers Nightingales around, moon comes down to kiss her face, and stars look forward to cover her hair…

Aks

[Feb 2012]

Feb 5, 2012

They are the prisoners of my being
longing to come out for so long
they scream, they yell, they knock
for years, they have been trying
suffocating, crying, slowly dying
no one knows, their veiling
they are the words, and meaning
of that Love i have been hiding
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
but you will never know
as my words are locked in
behind bars in my heart

Ak

Vulnerable

I Love you in all forms

In all shades of time

Night or Day, Spring or Fall

But I love you more

When you are alone and in despair

Then your heart is fully open

And you are most vulnerable

In that moment I feel closest to you

Aks

Unforgettable encounter

The sweetness

The softness

Like the red rose petals

Tender, gentle, velvety

The touch

Oh the fragrance

The warmth of your breath

Awakens the memory

Of you and me

Together

For eons of time

Holding hands

Travelling

Always in Love

I know your scent

I can recognize you

In every time period

No matter in what shape and size

No matter in what role

You and Me

Two beats in ONE heart

Madness

I felt secure and safe within me

Roaming room to room

I got lost

Entered so deep within

Cant find my way out

Now its just me within myself

There is no one else

Sitting next to oil lamp in my heart

I talk , I listen , I reply

aks

Desire

What is planning ?

It’s visualizing in mind what we want . Every action start with vision, it’s the first and most important step to action. We see it, we plan it , we act on it, and its done .

The reward is the end product .

What is desire ?

Its the colors which paints the vision . Without desire, vision is just black and white, and don’t have much impact .

Next page

Will it be darkness filled with red eyed monsters

Will it be thunder and lightening , perhaps flash flood warning

Will it be silence filled with screaming loneliness

an old lady sitting in the corner staring outside with empty eyes, holding a picture of her family

Or may be a free fall from the top of cliff with a feeling of last breath leaving the lungs

Will it be numbness , a body, a robotic mind just going on with life

Or it be early signs of spring, tiny daffodil leaf emerging from frozen ground

Perhaps one last meeting with you before we depart

what will it be ?

Wordless

Words don’t come easy to me, I only use them as I don’t have any other way to communicate, but if I could , I would just use pictures .

I wish people can see the colors around other people, then they will know instantly how the other person is feeling. Words can’t be trusted, they are just sound one makes.

I do want to talk, about so many things, but I don’t have the words, or may be I don’t want to open the flood gate of feelings, which I know are too powerful for me to contain, if they escaped the prison of my Mind.

Sometimes its necessary to ignore the feelings, just to keep the sanity. Sometimes Its necessary to keep the life vest on, when one don’t know how to swim in deep waters.

I am curious , and I keep thinking what exist in this deep water, should I be afraid? or should I let go and let myself drown .

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